Sabbath Struggle

I found this article entitled "All Who Labor" on the Twitter feed of Sojourners, an organization/magazine whose tag line is "Faith in Action for Social Justice."  The article is about the quest for truly taking Sabbath, how it has and hasn't worked for the author, and how she realized that though she may be able to take a day of Sabbath rest, in many ways it is at the expense of others for whom the "luxury" of Sabbath is out of reach.
Another article I found describes the unique Sabbath circumstances of people working in a church situation.  Since I work on Sundays, my weekend ends up being on Fridays and most Saturdays, creating an odd existence where my housemates go to work on Friday, and I can do as I please, having no great responsibilities.

Something I've been thinking about/discovering/struggling with is the balance of work life and home life, particularly because in working at a church, these two lives seem to have the opportunity to overlap quite a bit.  

For example, LVC requires that I only work a maximum of 40 hours per week. Period. Though I am not an employee of All Peoples (technically) and am a contracted volunteer, LVC works for social justice in one small way by ensuring that volunteers are treated fairly in terms of work.  To me, working for a church  doesn't always seem like work.  I've grown up at church and dearly love being at and involved with church!  

Some of my struggle is in the post-educational life adjustment.  In college, being involved in worship, chapel-type things, bible study, etc. has been sort of my hobby, and schooling/homework/music has been my "job."  Now that I'm out of college and have a (sort of) real job, these things have reversed in some ways.  My job is to be working at church, with the food pantry, youth programs, being at worship, etc., and I have...GASP...free time for things like...hobbies? What are those again? :P  Suddenly I'm found coming home after work and not knowing what to do.  I don't have homework.  I don't have rehearsal.  I have some grown up things to do (budgeting, figuring out insurance and medical things, a few things leftover from my camp job that I need to do but with no real hurry), but otherwise, I have this TIME! 

Honestly, it feels weird.

Today, after coming home from church, I popped in a VHS recording of an old episode of Foyle's War (a PBS Mystery mini-series I used to watch; and for the record, we only have a VCR, no DVD player at the moment) and sat down on the couch with my knitting.  I've had the opportunity to read for fun.  Educating myself--what used to be my "job" as a student, doing homework--is now something I am free to do at my own pace, studying and reading what I want, when I want.  The other night, I just sat down at the piano in our living room, pulled out a hymnal, and played some random stuff. Just because I wanted to. 

I'm becoming more aware of the danger of staying at church too long or coming in too often.  Because church-y things have been a sort of hobby to me, I have no problem sticking around, helping out with stuff, volunteering, what have you.  BUT, now because it's my job, I need to make sure I don't get burned out.  Pastor Steve suggested to me that I consider not going to the confirmation pizza party, because I'm not required to and there will be plenty of other opportunities for me to interact with the youth without taking up my free time.  At first I was hesitant (partly because there'd be free food), but then I realized that this is my chance to start learning how to take care of myself as a laborer.

Working at Luther Park Bible Camp as a counselor or team leader, I've been accustomed to throwing my whole self into my job.  It's literally a 24/7...well, technically 23/6 kind of job.  All I do is camp-camp-camp, except for some time off on the weekends, occasionally midweek.  Even my weekend time was often taken up by camp-related things--retreat hosting, prepping for programming, scheduling for the following week. 

I'm realizing that I don't really know how to separate myself from my job, something that could rapidly become unhealthy for me, if I'm not aware of it.

Luckily,
I'm taking notice.
I'm taking the advice of my coworkers--Pastor Steve and others--and slowly but surely, I think I'll start figuring things out.

For example, though I went to church for the funeral this past Friday (my Sabbath), I intentionally went only as a bystander, to observe and provide support through attending in solidarity.  Promptly after the service had concluded, I left. I didn't stick around to share condolences (partly because I didn't know anyone...), I didn't go to the cemetery, and I didn't come back to the church for the food afterward.  I went and explored Riverwest and took some time to myself instead.

I'm learning.

Sabbath is not only a time of rest, it's a learning process.

God, on this day of Sabbath rest, help me to rest and rejuvenate myself so that while I am back on the job, I will be able to serve those who are unable to rest.