managing

"We remind each other that people are flawed, and that we are people, too, broken in a thousand spots ourselves." 

(Liz, from "The Passenger Seat," on her blog These Square Pegs)

I am not meant to manage other people.
It is definitely NOT one of my spiritual gifts.
Voice projection, yes.  Intergenerational openness, yes.  Being way too energetic in the morning, yup.  Page turning for keyboard players, perhaps.  Being present for others in times of need, I like to think so.  Looking on the positive side of things, I sure try.

Managing?  No. Way.

I don't like HATE telling people what to do.
I wish I could give everyone the whole world, as much as they needed and then some.  I hate that there are so many limits weighing people down unnecessarily and thwarting their dreams.

For better or for worse, I take to heart what people think of me.  I'm a people pleaser.  Sometimes I wish I weren't, but then I think I'd be such a terrible person that I would disgust myself.

I am learning (i.e. majorly struggling with) my place at All Peoples: as a minor authority figure; as a young white female; as a staff member; as a part of this vibrant, chaotic, layered community.  In this, I'm figuring out how to interact with the people I serve and befriend, when to be firm and strict to the rules and when to be lenient and more generous.  I hope I can always be generous with my time, presence, positivity, and smiles.  The fact of the matter is, no matter how hard I try, I can't please everyone.  It's simply not possible.  I can't be perfect.

Have you ever noticed that in the sacrament of communion, the bread is always broken?  Jesus never kept the bread in one piece--he always broke it.  The communion table at my home church has the inscription: "and he was known to them in the breaking of the bread."
the BREAKING of the bread.
Even the bread isn't whole.  
I'm pretty sure we don't have to be whole either for God to do work through us.

Our weaknesses are God's strengths.

"We remind each other that people are flawed, and that we are people, too, broken in a thousand spots ourselves."

I'm not perfect, and neither are you.  None of the people I work with and interact with day to day are perfect, and that's okay.  We just need to remember that.
I need to remember that.

Please be patient with me as I and my imperfect nature continue working through life.